My due date is tomorrow. Today EMM is six weeks old and weighs almost six pounds.
As I left my six-week post-partum appointment yesterday, I passed the room where they do NSTs. I heard the loud thud-thudding of some woman’s baby’s heartbeat on the monitor. And I cried. A little bit sad I won’t hear that sound for one of my babies ever again. An even littler bit sad that I didn’t have six weeks of hearing that sound for this baby.
It was a moment of recognition for what was and is and will and won’t be. And the emotion of it overcame me briefly.
At the very same time I am happy and so grateful for numberless things about EMM and how and when she arrived.
It’s okay to be sad and grateful at the same time.