silence is golden

drugs for round 2 of ivf are looking to cost twice as much as round 1. my insurance provider figured out what the drugs were for and stopped approving coverage. (i will NOT at this time go off about how angry i get hearing people freak out about coverage for birth control pills and other preventative measures while my husband and i are over here being taken to the cleaners because we are trying for the opposite of prevention.)

i went to get out of bed this morning and found i could not move without experiencing debilitating pain. in my neck and upper back. (i have never felt anything like this. i can move my arms just fine. but if i try to turn or bend or anything, i involuntarily gasp or cry out. showering and getting dressed were mildly hysterical. i have left a message with my chiropractor because i think i’m more likely to get in to see him today and also because i think he’s less likely to prescribe muscle relaxers. i also think he can help me.)

my job is an absolute circus right now. but not the fun kind. (i meant to pray last night about what to do but forgot because my husband and i ended up giggling (he laughed, i giggled) until the late hours as i tried to guess the mascots for national hockey league teams. then i passed out because i was so tired and completely forgot about my work worries or about my goal to pray nightly even if nothing’s wrong. shameful, i know. good thing i can pray anytime. i mentioned to my co-worker yesterday that when i’m stressed or worried, i deal with it by praying while our other co-worker takes a xanax. then my co-worker said she deals with it by eating candy. i like my method best and only wish i was more consistent at applying it.)

my left eye has been kinda bugging me. last night and this morning. i’m worried it’s another tear in my cornea. (i should probably call my eye doctor and see if i can get in to see him. but i’m putting it off until i hear back from my chiropractor because that malady is causing decidedly more discomfort.)

you can go ahead and feel sorry for me.

ready. set. go.

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3 Responses to silence is golden

  1. melhoney says:

    oh i’m so sorry Alice. You have every right to complain. My SIL has gone through invetro and I never knew how hard it was until I heard all those details. I have so much sympathy for you.

  2. mar says:

    dearest friend,
    it does seem like when it rains, it pours. you’re amazing and i hope you start feeling better. and yes, praying whenever we want is awesome. love you.

  3. Carol Schiess says:

    I need a report after the chiropractor. Or at some time when you feel some relief, if that happens, which I devoutly hope it does.
    Your mother.

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