cruel hilariosity

i called the fertility center this morning.

(i will not include a link to their website because it’s creepy and would give you zero confidence in our prospects. in fact, when my husband and i first talked about getting the professionals to help knock me up, i googled it, found the fertility center’s website, and immediately descended into a brief period of depression based on a mistaken belief that i really had moved to hinterland. a hinterland with nothing to offer the child-making challenged.)

but. i digress.

i called the fc this morning. tammy put me on hold while she worked with another patient. queue the hold music.

“too much, too little, too late, to ever try again. too much, too little, too late, to ever try again…”

thank you, johnny mathis and deniece williams. and thank you, fc. that’s just what i needed to hear this morning.

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7 Responses to cruel hilariosity

  1. queenann says:

    wow. that’s brutal.


  2. Jenn D says:

    I would love to leave something witty, but I think it would only add to the cruelty. On the upside, your sense of humor and sarcasm has made me super happy today. I will try to send you the right hormones telepathically. Love you.


  3. Jessica M says:

    That is like the time my mom was on hold with the funeral home and the song was Billy Joel’s “Only the Good Die Young.”


  4. Emilie Ahern says:

    I may make them a ‘fertility hold music’ mix tape…

    Britney Spears – “Baby One More Time”
    Bow Wow Wow – “Baby Oh No!”
    Al Green – “Here I Am Baby”
    The Impressions – “Talking About My Baby”
    The Beach Boys – “Don’t Worry Baby”


  5. Carol Schiess says:

    And The Carpenters — “Baby, It’s You”


  6. liz h says:

    If you’re willing to drive to the big city, I can recommend a great fc. If you’ve become attached to the hold music, though, you should probably stay where you are. No one can top that. No one.


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