addendum

i remembered something about the deseret towers dance with matt.

at one point during the evening we stood facing each other while we chatted and somehow ended up holding hands. both hands. fingers laced. be. still. my. beating. heart. {said in rhythm to sting’s song.}

if i’ve described that very well, you’re now picturing me in the position that at the time was my wildest fantasy of the most romantic thing that could ever happen between a boy and a girl. ever. there we were. face to face. hands intertwined. eye contact all over the place. so intimate. so connected. le sigh.

how could i have forgotten that delicious detail?

so. after everything i’ve told you. about matt. our date. our late-night study sessions. etc. do you think he liked me? i never could be sure. always hoping and never believing it possible at the same time.

even today. nearly half my lifetime later. you could not convince me that matt liked me. he didn’t.

did he?

now let me express eternal gratitude that i am, as i have said before, happily married. and no longer 19.

p.s. read my older sister’s comment on my previous post. awesome. no other word for it.

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