i sure love you. i do. you’ve done so much for me over the years.
remember those 10 spelling bees i won? i credit you for each and every one of them.
all those phone numbers and dates you’ve got stored away come in handy almost daily.
and thanks for helping me come up with all the funny, funny things i say on a regular basis.
for just a minute, i’m asking you to take a break. well, maybe for a couple of hours. a whole day?
i’ve got some work to do here in the office, and i can’t afford to have you distracting me. i need to spend my day writing some mind-numbing emails and such. i don’t want to be thinking about how the name jared doesn’t really work for grown-ups, for fathers and grandfathers more specifically. how is that thinking going to help me write an email about scheduling a meeting for next week (notwithstanding the spectre of a government shutdown)? i ask you.
answer me later, please. after you’ve taken your break.
thanks a million times over,